Currently Listening Closer By Josh Groban "When You Say You Love Me" see related

I posted it in my livejournal, but I'm going to post it here too since I never update.  This is my way of expressing how I've been feeling about a couple people in my life lately, sorry to go emo on you guys, but I've found writing is a really cathartic thing for me to do, not to mention it keeps me awake in studio. So anyways, enjoy:

Metamorphosis

Life is about changes, but are they always for the best?

Change is said to be good, a learning experience,

A chance to grow as a person.

If this is reality, then why do we continue to make poor choices?

Why do we allow ourselves to change

Into something we once proclaimed we’d never be?

Never allow others to let us become something we’re not.

Life is about finding yourself,

Not letting others determine it for you.

I control my destiny, no one else.

This is why it hurts so much to watch you morph,

But not because you are changing into someone

I don’t want you to become,

Because you are becoming someone you once told

Me you never wanted to be.

Through out life we lose our friends because we are constantly evolving.

Yet, we always gravitate towards those like ourselves,

Back to those whom we once knew so intricately.

I don’t understand how or why we fall apart,

But I feel the pain caused by the split.

Maybe that’s why we make the same mistakes again and again.

At some point we have to learn to listen to others,

To allow people to tell us when we are wrong.

It hurts to watch you change into someone

I don’t want you to become,

Because you are turning into someone you once told

Me you never wanted to be.

Perhaps it’s selfish, but it’s so hard

To let you go and see that you can no longer

Relate on the same level as me.

I miss who I once was, but I see I’m a better person.

I miss who you once were, but I understand your reasons for

Changing, though I don’t always agree.

I miss who we once were,

Connected to each other, on the same wavelength,

Respecting each other’s beliefs, even agreeing on some,

As though we were related and blood was between us.

But now I feel as though you’ve stopped listening.

Something else has become more important than our bond.

And that only hurts because I feel you no longer

Respect my feelings; no longer listen to my thoughts.

You’ve shut me out entirely and closed every

Window to your heart and your emotions.

I know that we’ve changed,

Please let me back in,

Don’t shut me down without listening.

Listen to me!

Please let me back in,

Let me listen to you.

There will be tears.

Let me cry on your shoulder

And I’ll let you cry on mine.

Let me back in,

Make me understand!

I know we’ve both changed,

But I still need you

And I hope you need me.

Maybe I can’t say to you how I feel, but I hope you will one day understand

How much you’ve hurt me without even knowing.

And maybe you’ll let me back in some day soon.

It hurts to change, but it helps us to grow.

Why can’t we all evolve to compliment each other?

It was time for  a change, so enjoy the new background and maybe I'll add a real update in the near future.

Currently Listening Sinatra Reprise: The Very Good Years By Frank Sinatra see related

Boredom overtakes me as I sit at grandma's house

69 Questions to Start the Summer

1. Are you in a relationship? nope

2. Do you hate more than 3 people? I don't really hate any one, although people can severely annoy me sometimes.

3. How many houses have you lived in? 2

4. What is your favorite candy bar? Snickers (I know it's common, but the peanuts, caramel, and chocolate combo is just so good!)

5. What are your favorite shoes? flip flops for comfortable purposes...otherwise, my brown high heels for going out

6. Have you ever tripped someone? Of course, who hasn't tripped one of their younger sibblings intentionally

7. What was your least favorite subject this year? I'd have to say Choir (I hate disorganization in a class, I'm a dork)

8. What was your favorite subject this year? Costuming, hands down. Gotta love 8am's with Andi

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Nope, I never liked her and I still don't like her.

10. Have you ever thrown up in public? Nope, I'm too scared of throwing up period, esp. outside of my home. The last time I puked I was 12, so yeah...

11. Name something that's always on your mind? a song of some sort, and whether or not I've done everything I needed to do. And lately, how much longer til I get to return to Oxford

12. What is your favorite music genre? Jazz, old fashioned style (Sinatra, Martin, etc.)

13. What is your sign? Aries.

14. What time were you born? 1:11 pm

15. Do you like beer? eww no, gross.

16. Have you ever made a prank call? Umm, not that I can think of

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own? would definitely have to be that O-Town cd that's been sitting in the back of my cd case and hasn't been listened to in years.

18. Are you sarcastic? Me? Sarcastic? You've got to be kidding...

19. What are your favorite colors? Teal. Purple. Brown.

21. Summer or winter? Winter. Way easier to warm up than it is to cool down.

22. Spring or fall? Fall. I love the colors and the leaves, plus allergies are slightly less haha.

23. What is your favorite color to wear? Teal. Purple. Brown.

24. Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite.

25. What color is your cell phone? The standard silver that it came as.

26. Where is your second home? Wherever my friends are, i.e. Ole Miss Theatre department (whatever building they happen to be in at the time)

27. Have you ever slapped someone? Yep, my sister and brother a lot when we used to fight, and that guy that one time...but he deserved it! ;)

28. Have you ever had a cavity? 4 recently, damn deep grooves in my teeth.

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom? Just one.

30. How many video games do you own? Actually, none, unless you count the Quidditch one that I share with my siblings. Then, there are the 3 or 4 Gameboy Advanced games that I own but am completely unaware of the location of.

31. What was your first pet? Legs the aquatic frog from 4th grade science that wouldn't die.

32. Have you ever had braces? Unfortunately

33. Do looks matter? On a regular day to day basis, not really, who has time to wake up early just to look good? For professional shit, definitely, then I'm all about some waking up early and spending an hour and a half curling my hair that won't hold for more than 5 minutes

34. Do you use Chapstick? In the winter

35. Name 3 teachers from your school: Joe Turner "Captain" Cantu, Brian, Rene

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie? AE.

37. Are you too forgiving? Yes, it's a problem sometimes.

38. How many children do you want? two or three

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic? I don't think so, but my sister owns enough from there for the both of us.

40. What is your favorite breakfast? Waffles with lingonberries or a fruit smoothie

41. Do you own a gun? No way.

42. Have you ever thought you were in love? No, I've never really dated someone long enough to think I was in love

43. When was the last time you cried? Hmmm...really cried because I was upset, the day before I left for home, not because I was going to miss everyone (although I do very much) but because they had a night of drunken mayhem and things went wrong and I thought my two best friends were fighting, but one was just way too drunk to interact/react with anyone or anything, and then another friend tried to intercede and didn't really solve anything, and then I cried to Mary Virginia because I was upset that they were fighting slash not really but whatever...anyways, it's complicated, you shouldn't have gotten me started :)

44. What did you do 3 nights ago? Probably talked to Paige online, okay, definitely talked to Paige online, plus called Greg to wish him a happy birthday, oh and went to see X3, which was okay.

45. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden? I've never been to Olive Garden, my family refuses to eat there because we are Italian and that food is just an insult to what real Italian food is.

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom? Actually, I think I did once in elementary school, but who the hell cares? 

47. Have you ever been in a castle? No :( But one day I'm going to go to Europe and travel to all the castles I can manage to visit!

48. What are your nicknames? Dane, Danish, Whoredanish, Daner (occasionally, I really don't like this one unless it's a close friend and they're just doing it to be annoying)

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha? Nope

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky fried chicken? When I was younger, someone used to always bring it to church potlucks, but it's gross and I don't like fried chicken

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic? Maybe a shirt, I'm not really sure

52. Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yep.

53. Have you ever called someone Boo? All the fucking time.

54. Do you smoke? HELL NO!

55. Do you own a diamond ring? Nope, but one day hopefully ;)

56. Are you happy with your life right now? Now, yes, three months ago, no. But thanks to my friends, it's gotten way way better, I love you guys!

57. Do you dye your hair? I did once when I was playing Lucy in a show, but not since then.

58. Does anyone like you? Not that I'm aware of, in the romantic sense that is.

60. What were you doing May of 1994? Umm, finishing first grade, getting ready for my second dance recital, joining swim team, that's about it, oh, maybe fighting incesently with my lil sis

61. Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? the second two Millenium and Black and Blue haha

62. McDonald's or Wendy's? Wendy's.  Frosty + Fries = Genius

63. Do you like yourself? I've never really had the problem of not liking myself, that's not to say I don't find things wrong with me, because there's lots of that lol.

64. Are you closer to your mother or father? Following Paige's answer, I talk to mom more, but dad and I do the unspoken thing pretty well.

65. Favorite feature of the opposite sex? Eyes, smile, hair

66. Are you afraid of the dark? I used to be, not so much anymore

67. Have you ever eaten Glue? I was more a playdoh kid.

68. Who was the last person you kissed? Umm, we decided that he doesn't count

69. Have you ever stripped? If getting in the shower counts, then every day of my life

Currently Listening Songbird By Eva Cassidy "Wade in the Water" see related

It's Over

And I actually made it through without too much stress and complication.  I finished exams on Friday and I think I might have actually pulled off a 4.0 for the semester, which is a miracle considering all the crap I was doing.  So I'm back in Huntsvegas, really bored, and really homesick for Oxford (is that weird or what).  I realized that I've made more friends this year that will probably stay with me for the rest of my life than I ever did in high school.  I guess I always sub-consciously thought that I would never see my high school friends after graduation, so I never allowed myself to get really close to anyone.  But this year I've definitely allowed myself to get really close to a really tight-knit group of friends and I know I can depend on them no matter what.  I've learned that it's ok to trust people to help you with things and I've definitely needed it this year more than anything.  People always talk about theatre departments everywhere being like a big family, and while it was kind of like that in Huntsville, it doesn't even compare to how close I am to all my Ole Miss theatre kids.  I think I'm more closely knit with the kids at Ole Miss than I am with my immediate family at times and I can't imagine what next year's going to be like when all the new freshmen come in.  It's like suddenly there's a baby boom and you have to adjust everything to make them fit in because we want them to feel at home.  But I know that no matter what changes, change is good for me and I need to learn to accept it.  Besides, no matter what happens, I will always have the friends that I have become closest with this year.  I've found someone to be there for me as a brother when I'm hungry or when I'm lonely, a friend who would do anything for me even though I sometimes unintentionally leave her out, my theatre wife who stays up til 3 in the morning freaking out about studio results, and the closest person I'll ever have to being an older sister for me, something I've always needed, but never had just because I'm the oldest.  I finally feel like I'm not the first one trying things out as the guinea pig for my younger siblings because I know there's someone there that I can look up to and count on to pick me up when I fall.  If any of you guys are reading this, and you know who you are, thank you for more than you could ever imagine.  If I hadn't had my theatre family at the beginning of this semester I don't know if I could have ever gotten through it.  You guys pulled me up from the first time I've ever been truly depressed and showed me that there are people who care about what happens to me outside of my immediate family.  I miss you guys terribly and I can't wait to be back in Oxford for fall semester.  I've needed to get this out for a while and I just wanted to let you guys know how much you are appreciated. You'll always be with me, wherever I go (and yes, I know this sounds cheesy but it's true).

Currently Listening Queen - Greatest Hits, Vols. 1 &2 By Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody" see related

I should be studying for exams but...

I'm writing in here instead.  So acting juries went really well, I got into Sophomore Studio and I can't wait til next year because it's going to be so much fun!  I averaged about a 70 score-wise, and 50 is average for most people, so all in all, I did really well and I'm really happy with my performance, probably for the first time ever in my life.

Musical theatre juries were this afternoon and I'm not worried about those at all.  It went well and I did just fine, I wish I could figure out how to not get nervous when I have to do monologues. I never get nervouse when I have to sing because I'm more comfortable with it.  All the professors liked our group dance - we were old ladies at a mixer (the song was "Hard Work" from Fame) and we cheesed it up!

Exams are going okay so far, that said, I've only had one.  I've got to write a 5 page paper for honors that's going no where at present because I have no idea what I'm going to write about, but oh well.  I've got a ballet final at 8 am tomorrow...YUCK!...and then a scene and a vocab test for theatre on Friday.  Then I'm going home for the summer, which makes me very sad.  I'm going to miss a lot of people here, and I know it's not going to be anywhere near the same as it was this year.  I've grown very close to some of the seniors and I'm going to miss them a lot.  I really almost don't want to go home because I've grown so attached to some of the people here, especially the ones I spend almost every waking moment with.  It's like our theatre family is splitting up and will never be the same again, but as the wise Joe Turner Cantu said in class today, "Change is good.  Learn to embrace it."  It's funny, because I cried when I had to come back to school this semester because I dislike my roommmate so much and didn't know if I could deal with her for another semester.  But now I'm crying because I have to go home and leave Oxford.  But hopefully I'll be back for a couple of weeks in the summer for Oxford Shakespeare festival - which I am very very excited about since some of my best friends have some of the lead roles in Midsummer and Fight Scenes   So, now back to my incoherent discussion of Bollywood and Hollywood...